Despondent by Design

by Loathe

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    “This is Malta’s Loathe, a hardworking band - they’ve battled through the changing times and have found a comfortable seat, right between Bloodbath and Carcass.” [Terrorizer Magazine]

    “To be fair to Loathe, they are better than so many of the new bands I have heard recently.” []

    “.......With this release Loathe should be brought to the attentions of labels rapidly, mostly owing to the material and the brutality of the mix that leaves no question as to the power of the songs.......” []

    'Despondent By Design' is Loathe's sophomore full length album, released on Casket Records. Ten tracks of crushing metal and full colour sleeve.

    Comes in transparent back CD jewel case and 8 page inner sleeve, with lyrics and liner notes. Artwork by Clint Tabone and Cedric Vella.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Despondent by Design via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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This is Despondent by Design, Loathe's first full length album, with 10 hard-hitting metal tracks for your headbanging enjoyment.


released July 27, 2009

David Fenech, Karl Cachia, Kurt Pace, Mark Debono & Max Vassallo

Mixed & mastered by: David Vella, Temple Studios Malta.



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Loathe malta

This is Loathe, Malta's premier metal band. Formed in 2001, Loathe has gone from strength to strength with every release, culminating in 2009's album 'Despondent By Design'. In 2013, Loathe released an EP called 'Lambs To The Slaughter' featuring the band's heaviest material to date. Loathe has toured the UK and shared stages with bands such as Evile, Detonation, SLAB, Morgue Orgy and Sabbat. ... more

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Track Name: Hellfire
The sick sweet smell of that perfume
Takes me back to that night
Driving high determined to make it right
Driving straight towards our Hell

The way you glowed
Showed me the way that I must go
Your lips so sweet
Like fucking slabs of stale concrete


I still can't believe what you made me do
Fear of losing you will guide me thru


From now on
Your soul belongs to me
In my world
You shall not be free
Making love in a pool of blood we signed the dotted line
All your life to me
(Your eternity)

The cold blue steel seemed to match so right
With the crimson that we shed that night
Powered by jealousy and fright
With the mess that we made

Beauty so sweet
A bitter choice of Satan's treat
The lust for flesh
Turned this to one big fucking mess


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
And owns all its Hellfire to a selfish man

Repeat Chorus

Begging down on all fours
Bloodied tools surround our ritual floor
Your spouse's blood for lubrication
We enter Hells deepest tribulation

Repeat Chorus w/

Your Eternity
Track Name: As Cold As They Come
As Cold As They come

I could never dream your damage would become part of me one day
Sunk so deep within me that I dread it will always stay
Did you ever ask yourself what would become to this scapegoat when you leave?
Sealing my grave with your own debris just so you could be set free


What good would it do just to tell you?
It's been killing me for these years
So here's my holy confession
Just so you know...

Chorus 1

One last time for the sweetest memory
What else is it going to take to set this dead soul free?

Every man's dread you made reality my cross to bear for life
Tolerating your world so full of shit just to blow up in my face


The endless praising you needed
The mockery you gave in return
Incapable of appreciation
Your curse I feel it burn...

Chorus 2

One last time for the sweetest memory
What else is it going to take to set this dead soul free?
Did you ever just stop to wonder how I stuck with you through all them years?
You were once all in my my darkest fear


Years of lies and woeful cries are embedded in my brain
I can't wipe clean the memory of your sick contagious pain
This boy you left so broken you abused and threw away
But will those who are truly responsible ever get to pay?

It`ll be the coldest day in hell when you find peace my dear
Just pray to remain dormant its best for you that things ain't clear
Cos if you ever awake your slumber
Shake out of it somehow
Screams in vain will fill your days
Your God wonít save you now

Repeat 2nd Chorus
Track Name: November

Raindrops of sadness ruined the once blue perfect sky
Colors turned to black and grey, tears were trapped in time
A sudden blow of fate that leaves you with too much said undone
Called onto the other side when your life had just begun

Pre Chorus

Had just begun
Angels healed your broken wings
To fly
Away from your affliction


There was this immense glow of beauty
That used to shine right thru your eyes
And if I knew I'd be the last to see
I'd have still given you all my time
Chains of memories still haunt me
As you left wounds inside my flesh
I hope I made your world shine brighter
Throughout our days of last caress

Sometimes I still see your face in winter's rain
And how you chose to share with me your happiness and pain
So much that I wish I said and things we should've done
An uncompleted episode when you check-out when you're young

You were so young...

Pre chorus and Chorus

Check-out time came way too soon...

You've fallen like a leaf of brightest green
Blown away to a place that's only in our dreams

You see I told you you`ll be fine
Now I'm the one who's got left behind

Angels healed your broken wings...

Repeat Chorus
Track Name: The Devil's Playground
Stressed right out of my fucking head if I could just have a little more time
Days go by like flashing lights since I left who I was behind
Never in a million God forsaken years could I accept to believe it was real
Just get me right off of this fucking ride I'm afraid about the way that I feel

"What you saw was a glimpse of heaven that could never in this life be real..."
once the devils playground...

You can never know what it's like and you can never point, judge or assume
Each and everyone's got a hell to burn and this one's mine with impending doom
Yes dreams are there to be shattered and our hope lies on a crumbling wall
But I'd rather much feel like shit everyday than motherfucking feel nothing at all

"Not everybody was meant to feel what others seem to be happy with..."
once the devils playground...

And then an angel came and picked me up and told me it would be safe to love again,
then walked away...and broke my heart


So you think the pain lessens with don't
So cry...get to know your inner self
Don't lie...most especially to yourself

Try to find what's hidden inside that's all that I'm trying to do
And staring thru your lifeless eyes just sometimes pulls me thru

It just fucking sometimes pulls me thru...
It takes away the pain...keeps me sane...
once the devils playground...
It just fucking helps me thru...
Track Name: Black Light
One might wonder why I even bother to sometimes write down the way I feel...

Well let me tell you straight away
I don't do it for you in any way
Nor do I care the slightest what you think
I just couldn't give a fuck...

It helps me deal with my pain
Keeps my demons in a cage
Controls my suicidal rage


This hope that keeps me hanging on
When it is lost I will be gone
In darkness I will find a way

Strange and scary when I'm weak and weary that I truly envy those who got away...

How could you judge or criticize
The life that flashed before their eyes
Point your finger, shift the blame
It just proves that you're a fool...

It makes no difference anyway
Life was theirs to take away
It never matters what you say

Repeat Chorus

Only those who came so close will live to tell the only truth

Darkness will become the light X2
Light becomes my darkest night X2

What is hidden inside of me is just dying to get out

Darkness will become the light X2
Light becomes my darkest night X2 ...tonight...

Have we chosen the sinister way of life? ...Rain on me...

Look deep inside these eyes of mine and is it darkness that you see?
Or do I hold the stare of sadness of a world that's so unreal?
I know that most of you who love me will probably miss me when I'm gone
But those who knew me well will admit that I'm finally much better off
Track Name: Children of a Lesser God
I bet you wish these motherfuckers will surely burn in hell

Cindy was only six years old when she already had seen it all
Left abused raped torn and used from the one who should`ve showed her love

Nausea-the sickness
Every day is hell
Suffer-the torment
Where are you God?

Hold her down while I fill her mouth so her mother won't hear her scream
If you ever tell a living soul I`ll gut you like a pig

Every day is hell...

Butch came home from school one day to find his mother lying on the bed
She forced his face between her legs and made him give her head

This went on for five long years till she felt like leaving home
She left her little fuck-toy scared abandoned and all alone


Father, what have I done?
To deserve this misery
This monster that I've become
It burns, it's changing me

Cindy came back home one day to butcher her old man and sign her life to psychoville

Butch is six feet under
Hacked up with her knife
Hacked to fucking pieces

Repeat chorus
Track Name: This Respect
This Respect

It don't take that much to just say something, just words put perfectly into place...
some people just use them as a punch line...

Some things just make me mad and add to my frustration
Don't wanna preach to you won't give no explanations
just what I feel sometimes when you say the things you do
Still I could be wrong you know it could be ludicrous or truth

Pre Chorus

Never - your words don't impress me
Forever - it's all just a joke to me


This respect that you speak of don't really make that sense to me
This respect that you speak of sounds like disrespect to me

And most of all it don't apply to everyone, sometimes I don't have respect...
I don't respect those motherfuckers I wish fucking dead...

For those that I have respect and keep close to my heart
In a way so deep and true that when it dies I fall apart
You see life has a funny way of shifting some to the other side
And on comes the frustration, the betrayal, respect dies

Repeat Pre Chorus and Chorus

What's the point you're trying to make?
What the hell are you trying to prove?
Do you really think that life's that long to waste on silly childhood moves?

And to those who never ever talked to me
And basically hate my guts
You've got deep mental issues guys and I think your fucking nuts


This Respect - Disrespect
This Respect - Disrespect
Track Name: This Overwhelming Grasp of Solitude
I can tell you feel it deep inside your heart
That suffocating feeling that makes us fall apart
Reaching out for that false hope that life throws in our way
I wish I can assure you that we`ll make it home one day

Cold as winter's snow
From here to the unknown
This hell that we share
Blinds my way cuts deep inside me

It's bedded deep within
Grows stronger from our sins
Blackening my soul
Letting loose my wildest demon


I feel this void around you it
pierces me so deep inside my soul
Can't fight this feeling so I hide
myself until I lose control
From way beyond it tries to end me
I can see it get darker every day
If you've never been there you won't believe me
I know that deep inside you feel the same
(we share the same)
(you share my pain)

We beg for those distractions that make us feel less pain
Overload our butchered hearts with regret and shame
Feeling safe in darkness we steer clear from the light
Anything to help us thru this long cold lonely night

Numb we lay to rest
cast aside our mess
A short lived granted peace
If only it could last forever

Face the day with fear
The Demons drawing near
Strapped down for the ride
Terrified of where it takes me

Repeat chorus

In case you care to wonder
The various paths to go
Once you lived your life this way it's the only way you know
I know that you point your finger
Say I'm the one to blame
And I don't deny that sometimes I feel more myself this way

But none of you know how hard I try even when my days go fucking darker
And that's the only reason that I'm still here
Or else I would be six feet under

And I see the sadness in your eyes and I can tell that
you dread tomorrow
So if there ain't no fucking love for us in this world why don't we
share each other's sorrow

Repeat chorus.
Track Name: The Dark Diaries
Get to know the pain within your soul
One step closer to the twilight zone

Don't be afraid to face your fears
It is fucking easy for you to say that
Blessed hope will come from tears
But I'm drowning in this sea of sorrow

Can't apply the words you say
Expect dark if you call the darkness
Do you really think I wanna play this game?
You Can't live within the darkness

Within the Darkness...


All the choices that you`ll ever make
The haunting of past memories and mistakes I've made
I can almost touch the sadness I`ll never make it on my own
I need someone to guide me
No you're on your own

I'm on my own...

You're part of one big master plan
A bad example so you can show your children
Weigh each moment well and think
I think too fucking much and it's becoming a problem

Dragging thru more twisted days
You`ll get sucked down by the sickness
How the fuck can I change my ways?
There's no love within the sickness

You won't love within the sickness

I Can't love within this sickness

Repeat Chorus

I'm on my own...
You're on your own...
I'm on my own...

Nothing, No one
Can keep you from yourself
But hide away in anger
And you`ll become someone else

Only God can show you light
Will you please fucking leave God out of this?
Hold on to that spark of hope
It's what I always wished never existed

Repeat Chorus
Track Name: The End of all Things Good
Lurking, hiding, never seen I was born to create your anger
For centuries I lay dormant
Killing all hope you had in dreams
I abrupt through innocence
Dominate your life

Obscure - Unheard

What you thought was hidden away will never ever remain that way
It never was and will always be - Feel the wrath of my Legacy


I will cause you so much pain
And silence all your children
Baptize your days with lifelong hate
The untold has finally spoken
(My reign will last forever)

I will take this secret with me to the grave - it's what must be done...
No - I can release you, I must release myself from this curse...
Son there's no releasing me...

Ingrained - Disguised

To sacrifice what's left of a life to leave the past unspoken
Risking an end of shattered pride your fate can now be chosen

Repeat Chorus

The silence of a lifetime
Oh the weight that you must feel
Absolution has become so distant

Will your final steps be the most painful path that you will take
Sever the bloodline - Your final fight
And help us re-claim back our lives

Repeat Chorus